The Usual Day Off
by keyop
Summary: [REPOST FROM AO3, ORIGINALLY POSTED 7/9/2016] G-Force sit around and wait for Zark to give them orders. Antics ensue.


"Here in center neptune, many fathoms beneath the sea, I keep a close and watchful eye on the galaxy," Zark stood proudly, then extended his legs in order to wipe off his monitor before continuing talking "Right now, I'm taking a look around the F7 galaxy, as there's been reports of some very strange activity happening on the federation planet Tryptor!" Images of space flashed across the screen, and soon it stopped on footage of some rather important looking people having a meeting.

"This is all of the most important federation personal from almost every allied planet in the universe, including Chief Anderson! They're gathered here at the Coral Center today to discuss the new ISO Space Station they want to build at a meeting point on the routes to Tryptor, Komedra, Persus and Vega. As a sort of 'Space Truck Stop' if you will, of course, there will also be important research happening here, and they'll even be getting their very own Zark!" He laughed, bitterly. "Of course, though, it'll be an outdated Zark 5 model.. a 7-Zark-7 like me couldn't function properly that far out in space. I sure hope nothing bad happens, afterall, a lot of very important people are there." He seemed to have forgotten completely about the strange goings on he'd earlier reported.

* * *

Meanwhile, G-Force were making the most of their free time, by doing some of their favourite activities in their ready room. Mark was busy making himself coffee, Tiny was snacking away at space burgers as usual, Princess was plucking away at her bass guitar and Jason read a car magazine with Keyop occasionally peeking over. Overall, nothing was going on, there hadn't been an alert for days, but with this important meeting happening today something happening seemed inevitable, it was always inevitable.

"You know," Tiny spouted, burger half stuffed in mouth "I think the quality of fast food these days has really gone downhill, ever since they banned them, what're they called... Keyop, what're they called?"

"Z-Z-Z-Zeeerro G, flavour fixers? Arrrrrrrrrrtifical."

"Yeah, the weird stuff they put in the burgers to stop em losing their flavour after leavin' earth, ever since they banned them saying it was givin' people .. what's it called, Keyop?"

"M-Mad Spectran disease? Hehu.. nah, Mad Cow."

"Yeah, that Mad Cow disease.. I'd rather have that than have to eat this.. quote unquote, 'Food', it tastes like mush when you eat it off of earth! I say they didn't do anything, and they just made it up as an excuse to ban it, so other fast food chains without the guts to franchise outta the atmosphere can sell more."

Jason decided to join in the conversation, leaning forward with one hand on his chin and his magazine firmly grasped in the other; "You know, I heard that the meat Space Burger uses is made out of ground up Komedran babies."

"Jason!" Princess snapped "Don't spread lies, let Tiny enjoy his food... besides, we all know that due to that act passed a few years ago, cannilbalism is banned on Komedra."

"Arr, brrrep. For the best. Woulda served us up for dinner, if we'd been there before it was passed. GRGrr.. brrr. S-S-saw some of the local elderly, givin' us funny looks like we were- roast meat! Last time we were there."

The group laughed, save for Mark who was in his usual way completely infatuated with some document he'd found lying around near the coffee machine, reading to himself. You could see his mouth moving. If someone such as Tiny, who could read lips, were to look at him, you'd know he was reading the nutrional label off the coffee jar, then silenced ensued around the whole room.

" _So_ ," Tiny cleared his throat, if they weren't in a secret underwater base, crickets would be sure to be chriping. "It's uh, about now that we usually get sent on a mission. God I could go for a beer right about now."

"Same here. Nice cold one." Chimed in Jason.

They waited for the usual Red Alert! from Zark, but nothing happened. Keyop shrugged. "Breepbroop, maybe he's in the bathroom? Zark."

"Robots don't pee, Keyop." Mark scoffed, looking up from his interesting reading material. "They're made of metal. Zark is made of metal. Also, Tiny, Jason. You know we're banned from addictives, **right**? And that you're both **underage?** "

"Eh, shove it, Mr. I-Eat-Coffee-Beans." Jason had an annoyed look on his face.

"Ar, hey, maybe he's, releasing some oil. Heheha. He takes showerrrrrrrr, show-show-show-..showwer, shower. SHoowwwwerrrressssss... Showersrssss.. P-Princess, help. SHwoer. SHow. Shwoer. Say word, for me."

"Showers." Princess sighed, patting Keyop on the back.

"Zark showers...? Nevermind that, Mark eats coffee beans..?" Tiny said.

"Only once." Mark said.

"How do you know that?" Jason said.

"Left on monitors." Keyop made a motion as if he was washing his armpits. "Covered himself in oil, had cloth, and- Ringbrinnngg- Everything. Squeak, squeaky clean. Kinda disturbin'. Arr."

"God, poor kid must be traumatised." Jason laughed through his nose, and stood up. "I'm going to go, er, train... call me if anything interesting happens."

Tiny stared up at the roof rather blankly, a dopey expression on his face. "Do.. do you think Zark wishes he was human? I mean, if he showers.. and he has that, robotic mutt, 1-Rover-1.. he plays fetch with it.. he hits on the goddamn early warning system... and the way he dresses up in that weird G-Force cape sometimes..."

"You know.. I never thought-" Mark started, but was cut off by the screen coming on, and speak of the devil, it was Zark. Jason pivoted on his heel and walked back into the room.

"G-Force! I have an important message for you, from Chief Anderson himself!" Zark stood proud in his trash can form.

"All your messages are from Chief Anderson, Tin Can. Get on with it." Jason rested against the door frame, an impatient look on his face.

"Now that's just plain rude, Mr. Van Ben."

"- Your last name is Van Ben?" Tiny looked over to Jason, only to be shushed rather harshly by Mark.

"Shut up and listen to Zark, everyone."

"Now, I'm not here to send you out on a mission," Zark began, which got a prolonged sigh out of all of G-Force "BUT, I am here to tell you to be ready for anything, with that big meeting going on in Tyrptor, about that 'Space Truck Stop'... There's been sightings of Spectran cargo ships just out of the atmosphere, and it makes me wonder, perhaps there's a base on the planet and the whole thing is a coverup for Spectran operations... makes you think, just be ready for anything, G-Force! Not like, you're not always ready for anything. Oh, I should be going- enjoy your free time!" And with that, Zark was gone from the screen, and G-Force was once again left in silence with next to nothing to do.

"What was that about?" Questioned Mark, taking a sip from his now almost cold coffee.

"I've got no clue... Do you think Zark's blown a circuit, maybe?" Princess turned around with a hand to her chin in thought, then looked over to Mark and began to speak once again. "You know, Mark, doesn't it seem rather.. fishy? All of this? Why bother telling us if we're not going to be doing anything?"

"The only thing that's fishy about this are the ones swimming outside the windows," In his usual snarky way, Jason smacked Keyop on the back "Since there's nothing to do, me and the little guy here are going to go for a drive in my car, isn't that right, Keyop?"

"Uh- Arrr, brp, Sure? Sounds good. Can I drive?" And with that, the two walked off.

"... Well, if they're going out, I'm going to go work on my plane, some of the paint chipped yesterday when I was flying in that harsh rainstorm. See ya." And with that, Mark was gone too.

Princess and Tiny sat there in silence. The two didn't really have much to talk about.

"So... Tiny, uh... how goes the uh, hows your little brother doing? Back in Australia?"

"Tommy? He's fine. Ol' Captain Jack's still a nut, though. Always berating the poor kid, worse than he did to me! I'm surprised he hasn't run away yet. I guess it's good he's still there, though. Need someone to feed my goldfish, afterall."

"I... See. How goes the ones you keep at home?"

"Very fat. Like me, heh. I'm still going on that diet though, like you said. I've cut down to drinking only diet cola of late. "

"Oh..." Princess brushed her hair behind her ear, "Maybe I should go as well... gotta check on the resturant.. Jill's been a bit of a slacker lately. Never washing the dishes properly.. Uh," She stood up, and walked away "Bye, Tiny. Have a good day!"

"Yep. You too."


End file.
